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adrianlondon –
Quote:
why spit food on the table?
Because you usually only have a bowl, and if you spit your food into the bowl you end up eating it
again by mistake Of course, the “posh” places put a saucer under your bowl for this purpose and
the “rustic” places expect you to spit onto the floor.
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ziyi star –
funny lists… though the spitting (food or to the street) is grosss
mamba9 –
well what a scary list. My family and I practically match 80/88 of that. Some are exceptions, like
drinking out of jam jars, i use yogurt cups
Especially
60. If you don’t live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you’ve eaten, even if it’s
midnight.
thats just spot on.
Hero Doug –
first list was a bit general, liuzhou’s list had some nice specifics. I notice that I’ve thrown
out a few aiyahh’s here and there lately.
And chinese fashion got to me as well I think. I bought a sweater in China and wore it with
relitavely no problems, until I came back to Canada for a visit. Apparently it makes me look quite
“gay”.
I especially like the “foreign folks seem foreign”, it kind of rings true for me.
Xiaohua –
That depends on what the sweater looks like. I don’t think sweaters on men is in anyway gay. But
if the sweater was pink, then I would worry about the guy wearing it. :wink2:
simonlaing –
yeah I think
126 . You use the word “Ayyiieeaaahh” every few sentences to convey surprise, pleasure, pain or
anger.
Is definitely a sign of being in China a long time, though when I went to france i tried to give
french driving directions in Chinese. It took a second for them to realize I wasn’t speaking
english like most people.
I wonder about how long have you been in China to put people into catergories. I occassionally do
this, is this bad? I feel guilty, should I?
I understand the Karaoke, tacky, and subtle view changes that happen. You don’t think it will
happen but it will.
Also one to add.
The traffic is bad today you are referring to the bicycle back up in downtown.
You don’t think climbing 5 flights of stairs to go to someone’s house as difficult or strange.
You have taken the HSK more than 3 times, and think the next time I will definitely pass.
The Local TV station knows you will always be there to give the “foreign view” on a particular
subject.
You can advise people what the working conditions are like in the 4 major english schools from
personal experience.
You stop thinking you’re going to get the Expat Package.
What do you think?
have fun,
Simon
p.s. if you have time answer my survey on the Education thread
Lu –
This list is a bit long, and partly overlaps with the China list, but still it’s funny.
1. You can order the entire McDonald’s menu in Chinese.
2. You decide it makes more sense to drive a motorcycle instead of a car.
3. More than one garment has been ruined by betel-nut spit.
4. Someone doesn’t stare at you and you wonder why.
5. You look both ways before crossing the sidewalk.
6. Hsiaohsing Wine tastes good.
7. You turn left from the right lane.
8. 70��XF feels cold.
9. You see three people on a motorcycle and figure there’s room for two more.
10. “Squid” sounds better than “steak”.
11. You don’t notice the smell.
12. There are more things strapped to your motorcycle than you ever put in a car.
13. Looking at a dog makes you hungry.
14. You stop conjugating verbs.
15. You drive on the shoulder to pass traffic.
16. The main reason you stop at a 7-11 is to buy tea eggs.
17. You expect a Chinese New Year’s bonus.
18. Firecrackers don’t wake you up.
19. You spend two hours and US$75 to go get potato skins and buffalo wings.
20. You can distinguish Taiwanese from Hakka.
21. Your family stops asking you when you’ll be coming back.
22. Taxi drivers are considered “good drivers”.
23. You withdraw your money from the bank during Chinese missile tests.
24. Beer really isn’t so expensive.
25. You stop and look both ways before driving through a red light.
26. “A”, “an” and “the” aren’t necessary parts of speech.
27. You know when the next “big bai-bai” is.
28. Smoking is one of the dinner courses.
29. You don’t mind when your date picks her/his nose in public.
30. You wear out your horn before your brakes.
31. The police call you to get information about other foreigners.
32. You know which place has the best noodles & duck meat at 3:00 a.m.
33. a) You (male) wear white socks with suits and black socks with tennis shorts.
b) You (female) wear socks with pantyhose in summer.
34. People who knew you when you first arrived don’t recognize you.
35. You speak Chinese to your foreign friends.
36. You own a karaoke machine.
37. None of your shoes have laces.
38. Chinese stop you on the street to ask for directions.
39. You leave the plastic on new furniture.
40. Forks feel strange.
41. You can spot the differences between the China News and the China Post.
42. The shortest distance between two points involves going through an alley.
43. You wear blue rubber flip-flops at work.
44. People don’t see you for months, and when they do, they don’t ask you where you’ve been.
45. Your deodorant stick has cobwebs on it.
46. You check that the karaoke machine is working before boarding a wild chicken bus.
47. Chinese remakes of Western songs sound better than the originals.
48. You stare at other foreigners.
49. Over half of your clothes were bought at night markets.
50. You become an expert on bug zappers: the best brands & where to get them.
51. The majority of foreigners who have been in Taiwan longer than you are buried here.
52. You find yourself saying, “Oh geez, not ANOTHER Year of the Rat.”
53. You know which turn signal should be on when driving the wrong way down a one-way street.
54. You get homesick for Chinese food while away from Taiwan.
55. Praying at a temple for a winning lottery number becomes a regular thing to do.
56. It becomes a tradition that at least a part of Christmas dinner is stir-fried.
57. Other foreigners give you a funny look when you tell them how long you’ve been here.
58. You can’t think of any good reason to leave.
59. The Statute of Limitations has expired and you still don’t go home.
60. You understand that smiling and nodding is Chinese body language for “Stop speaking bad
Mandarin and leave me alone.”
61. Passing a construction site, you realize metal scaffolding is much more dangerous than bamboo.
62. You’ve spent more time on the island since 1990 than any of the Taiwanese you know.
63. The last few vacations you’ve had have been around Taiwan on company outings.
64. You’ve used up more than one phone card on local calls.
65. Locals are surprised to find out you can’t vote in the upcoming election.
66. Your pets are bilingual.
67. Pizza just doesn’t taste right unless there’s corn on it.
68. Your preferred parking spot is on a sidewalk (and you get upset when someone else parks there).
69. Most meaningful conversations take place in doorways or on slow-moving motorcycles.
70. You can de-bone a piece of chicken in your mouth within seconds.
71. Your job title has more than three words.
72. You think the service in the resturants isn’t THAT bad.
73. You serve Shaoshing wine at home.
74. You’re constantly the first on the elevator to hit the “door close” button.
75. You start cutting off the gravel trucks.
76.You prefer squat toilets.
77.You think having a scooter would be fun.
78.You eat squid on a stick.
79.You no longer find those strange and humorous articles in the paper to send home.
80.Your most commonly used Mandarin phrase is no longer “wo ting bu dong”.
81.Your answer to an “either/or” question is “yes”.
82.When the fashions in the stores look really hip.
83.You’re into Sumo on NHK.
84.When chou tofu is no longer stinky.
85.You go to a nice restaurant and look for the rice bowl to put your food in.
86.You wish they had Lazy Susans in the middle of the tables at TGI Fridays.
87.You spend more time driving ON the lines instead of in between them.
88.You read books from back to front.
89.You start to like Kaoliang brandy more than XO.
90.You think packs of dogs are cute.
91.You are on home leave and you say “hsie hsie” instead of thank you.
92.You call it home.
93.You think that ALL babies have flat heads in the back.
94.You’re ready to name the betel nut as a nutritional supplement.
95.You think that $3,000,000NT for a golf club membership is a steal.
96.You drive like this all the time.
97.You think the Taipei-Tamsui ferry is world class cruising.
98.You think that Taiwan is really trying to protect endangered species.
99.Your pinkie nail is over one inch long.
100.You stop using spell check on your word processor.
101.You buy round trip air tickets from Taipei.
102.You are worried when you DON’T see the soldiers on a bridge.
103.You think that ICRT is quality radio.
104.You tell the taxi drivers to hurry up.
105.You think your nose IS kind of big.
106.You hum along to the tunes in the taxi.
107.You’ve left umbrellas in more than 3 resturants.
108.You understand ICRT traffic reports.
109.You keep stuffed animals in your car.
110.You think walking up Yangmingshan looks like fun.
111.When US $4.00 is just about right for a cup of coffee.
112.You can tell the difference between Spring rain, the Plum rain, and the rainy season.
113.The last time you visited your mother you presented her with your business card.
114.The latest you can stay out is 9:30 pm, even on a weekend.
115.You can tell, just by looking, which moon cake has the egg in it.
116.You’re getting allergic to fresh air.
117.You get used to being waken up by the “dump-truck tune” instead of a clock.
118.Cable TV reminds you of boring commercials and stock market advisories.
119.Everything you own is pirated.
120.You start to treat your scooter like a spouse.
121.You get used to the habit of not paying any tips while traveling.
122.Your first reaction in buying things is to ask for discounts.
123.Your first reaction in hearing the national anthem is to think of the Chinese elementary
school.
124.You get addicted to MSG.
125.You get dogdoophobia — the fear of stepping on dog doo when walking around.
126.You say “Wei?” instead of “Hello?” when you pick up the phone.
127.The red light is merely suggestive to you.
128.You talk on your cellular phone, play Tetris, smoke, and chew betel nuts, all at the same time.
129.You always ask your best friend back home when he’s going to get a motorcycle.
130.You greet people by inspecting whatever they’re carrying or telling them how fat they’ve
gotten.
131.You can no longer tell the difference between a burp and the hiccups, a cracker and a cookie,
or toast and bread.
132.You’re on a first name basis with the staff at the local KTV.
grimacekid –
Is this 88 ways means the person should have all these 88 features at the same time or only one of
them can identify that he is a Chinese?
If somebody can see through a person just by one factor, I think that’s a bit general.
zozzen –
you’re not talking about all chinese. It’s about Hong kong chinese who immigrated to north
america. Many observations match reality, i admit.
It’s fun!
zozzen –
some more..
.
.
.
133. You praise a new born baby “fat and white”.
134. When you were under 8, your mom shouted at you at a restaurant– “Stop shouting in the public
area now!”
135. Your parents appreciate a teacher’s corporal punishment at you.
136. Your parents curse and swear that they would give a birth to a BBQ pork rather than you.
137. When someone makes you angry, you curse his mother.
138. You never eat an egg that prepared overnight, worrying they would bulge your testicles.
139. Never wear socks when sleeping, worrying it would make you blind.
140. When saying something unlucky, you never “touch wood”, you pretend to spit.
141. When you are 12, 24, 36, 48, 60, your elder relatives said you peeved a god, and gave you a
green jade.
142. When you have tea with Chinese tea cup, you feel sick if someone put sugar in it. But you
love sweet iced tea.
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). I suppose the problem then is that “conclude” doesn’t really
